Help Stop The Pain

No one is perfect, but we can all try to be better every single day! Heather didn't want to be in this world and, to be honest, I don't blame her. No, I am not going to join her, but I am going to try to be a better person every day of my life. Do you have problems in your life? Me too! We all do! The question is, how do you deal with your problems? Is it everyone else's fault or is the problem in decisions that we have made. Yes, there are situations where good people get hurt for no apparent reason, but I'm not talking about that. Do you think everyone judges you? Are you judging yourself? Are you trying to make changes and feel like people doubt you? Well, depending on some of the choices you have made in the past, it may take a while for people to believe you. Maybe some of your choices hurt others. However, if you are changing for the better, keep changing. You won't convince people that you have changed by your words. You need to show them the changes b...

Every day I wake up and feel the pain again of never seeing Heather again. Heather was such a beautiful person. She did her best to make everyone else happy, but she wasn't happy herself. You can't live life that way. It cost Heather her life and I miss her so much. I wrote to you before about trying to increase your dopamine levels by what we eat and I have to say, it is helping some. It doesn't ease the pain, but it does help me get things done a little easier. I still have no desire to hang out with others. I know I have to work on that. It gets so hard just trying to deal with people. I think where we get together with a bunch of friends is the hardest. Heather was always there with us and now, she isn't. Part of me feels very guilty. I know I should be more social but at the same time, so people really want someone dealing with such depression at a party? I tried on Memorial Day weekend when our neighbors had a BBQ. I basically spent most of the day inside o...

Just because everyone says something, that doesn't make it right. One thing that I have heard and seen on my social media walls, is "I wish you would just die." Really? Yes, it is a very common phrase, but it is a very hurtful saying. Imagine for a second that you have a huge fight with someone that you know. No, you aren't really close, but something happened where the person just really hurt you somehow. So, during your argument, you utter the words, "Why don't you just do the world a favor and kill yourself!" I want you to take that a step further. You wake up the next day and there, all over your social media is that this person committed suicide. OMG The last thing you said to them was to kill themselves and then they did exactly that. I don't know about you, but for me, that would lead to a lot of guilt. What you didn't know was that before your argument, they were trying to decide if life was worth it or not. You worked in a job tha...

How do you know if someone you love is contemplating suicide? You don't! So how can you make a difference and try to help stop the pain and try to save some lives? You can just try to make the world a better place. Every day, just try to do one nice thing for someone. I'm not talking something huge here. Are you stopping on your way to work and getting a cup of coffee somewhere? Treat the person behind you to a cup. See the person staring down at their shoes trying to look invisible? Give them a compliment. "Hey, nice shoes!" "You have a beautiful smile." Doing something nice for someone doesn't have to cost an arm and a leg. It can cost a little as a few seconds of your time and offering someone a compliment. You can't read someone else's mind. The person that is walking next to you, laughing at some joke you are telling, smiling at the world, could be contemplating ending their lives and you wouldn't even know it. Many, like Heather, t...

That may sound strange coming from someone with a blog based around suicide, but it's true. There is no off button to being a mom that loses a child to suicide. You go out and yes, you can hear people talk about it like you weren't there. Most people don't even want to acknowledge it. After all, it could happen to them and no one wants to even go there. Hiding under a bushel is not the answer. Well, for me, sometimes, it is. And yes, right now I am in hibernation. I just need a break from it for a bit. I will continue writing, but I also need some time for me away from others. I had someone tell me that at least I knew this was a possibility. Really? I had no clue. This came from out of the blue to me. I knew my daughter would give her heart and soul to someone in need. I knew she worked hard. I knew she was taking classes to try to become an EMT. She talked about goals, she didn't talk about ending her life. Suicide is one of the topics that is very hard to talk...

My girls loved to make silly faces. That's for sure. So many people will try to tell you what is the best way to be. I will tell you this. The BEST way that you can be is to be completely yourself! So many people come into our lives because of who we are. Then, many try to change you to be more like them and not yourself. If someone can't accept you for you, maybe it's time to move on. Yes, we all change through the course of our lives, and hopefully, for the better. I was with one guy and while he told me all the time that he loved me, he constantly tried to change me - to be more like him and less like me. To keep the peace, I changed me. I have to say now, that I wasn't changed for the better - I was changing into a clone of him. If you are true to yourself, you won't have to lie. You won't have to make up stories. You can just live your life. No, it won't always be happy, but at least you won't have to try to remember to do things a certain wa...

Dopamine. It's so much more than I can describe in a simple post, so there will be many posts about it. Do you feel like all you want to do is cry? Do you feel like you want to turn to drugs? Do you just feel like ending it all? Instead of trying those alternatives, why don't you try changing your diet first! There is a great article on Natural Society that you should all check out. How to Increase Dopamine Levels: Foods to Eat and What to Do . (Clicking on that link will bring you to the article - it's not an affiliate link, it's just a great article with fantastic information.) Basically, these foods are high in tyrosine which helps your body produce dopamine. Now, there are dopamine receptors and all of that, but again, this is an excellent reason to watch our diets. You know the saying, you are what you eat. This is so true in so many ways. Think of the old saying. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Well, apples are high in tyrosine and an apple a day wi...

In Heather's suicide note, she knew that we may think this was selfish of her, but to her, it was selfish to make her life in a world she didn't want to be in. Many others feel the same way. I'll admit, there are times that I don't want to be in this world. There is so much greed. There is so much selfishness. There is so little accountability. I could go on and on. Trust me. I am far from perfect, but each day I try to be a little bit better of a person. The other day I won the HD digital copy of Disney's Bambi. It's been years since I have seen this. I love in the beginning when Thumper meets Bambi for the first time. Yes, Thumper and Bambi turned out to be great friends. However, in the beginning, they were laughing and all because Bambi couldn't stand up right and Thumper's mom stopped him in his tracks by asking what he was told. "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all." Social media explodes with any and ...

I really love this picture. We had gone down to Chincoteague, VA and there was an awesome storm. As you can tell, I am not the world's best photographer, but what can I say. I was literally standing at sunrise in the middle of this horrendous storm, surrounded by telephone poles and the main road cutting through. Another day, we went out on a boat for the pony swim. Let's just say that the digital camera fell in the bay (oops) and it probably took a year or so for that camera to turn back on. (Luckily, I wasn't really thinking and left it sitting on my desk plugged in. One day it just turned on. Yea! Anyway, this picture was there and it just really hit home to me. Instead of thinking of storms as the hardships of your life, I am going to focus on the energy that is available to you through those storms. Everyone was sleeping and I was out there all alone. The power that was blowing around with the wind was amazing. I could feel that power just filling me up. Giving me...

Losing Heather to suicide was a real blow. None of us knew this was coming. It was a complete shock to all of us. I'm not lucky enough like Roxi to just bury under a blanket and sleep the days away when it gets really bad. Most likely, you'll find me playing with my 4-year old grandson. He has way more energy that I do. Last night was another rough night so I didn't get too much sleep. However, Carter is wide awake and full of energy! Since curling up under the blankets isn't an option for me, I needed to make a decision. My decision was to keep pushing forward. Yes, the bad days will always come up and hit me. Yes, I seem to have more bad days than good still, but if I give up, I will gradually just wither away and life will never get better. I have to say, Carter has truly been a blessing for me. Yes, Amy and Carol are still a blessing, but they understand the bad days, while Carter just insists on getting my attention and it's a definite distraction for me...